I believe that a relationship is an ongoing interaction between two fantastic, unique, beautiful, quirky, and flawed individuals. Because it depends on the qualities, expectations, and experiences of people, and people are never perfect, a relationship, whether between lovers, family members, work peers, neighbors, or friends, will always have its ups and downs, but it is vital to see and honor that core of goodness that attracts you.
The advice here will work with any interaction between you and any significant other in your life. To discover more psychic advice and love advice, please feel free to reach out and contact me for personalized in-depth advising.
We all know that authentic, deep, healing communication takes work and that this work is worthwhile in mending a failing relationship. There are different layers of talking and actively listening. Start with small steps: ask your partner a safe, non-intrusive question on a subject that is important to them.
Truly engage in listening. Sometimes sitting in quiet empathy is just the thing that is needed. There are few experiences more delicious than to feel that another person, someone that cares about you, is giving you all the time and space to tell your tale, and they are reserving judgment and lavishing on the attention.
When you see your pain or exultation, worry or triumph, echoed in a beloved other’s eyes, the slope of their shoulders, the caress of a hand, that is the experience that builds strong bonds. And pragmatically, if you listen, you might discover that the reason someone was late in meeting you last Friday night wasn’t due to disrespect, but that they were taking mama to the clinic — again. In a scenario like this, budding resentment ends and through knowledge, strong bonds are forged.
Kindness and Care
I believe that that Golden Rule applies to relationships and how to work on one that is in need of attention. Now, I don’t suggest taking this literally, such as if you want to get a new pair of shoes or tickets to the basketball game you get that exact same thing for your relationship partner.
That’s where step number one, communication, comes in. People will tell you what you what they need and want and hope to have if you are open to hearing them. Then work to get your partner what they want. If they can’t get it, be there with compassion and sympathy as they work towards a new goal. Go that extra step and actively be good to your person, in ways large and small.
Commitment and Compromise
When you decide in your own head and heart to commit to someone, then you are halfway to creating a good, healthy relationship. When you get that relationship going, to keep it running smoothly, that is the time to work on the art of compromise. Some folks dislike compromise because it means that they aren’t getting their way right down to the dot on the “i”. This is true.
However, if you want people in your life, this is the price of the ticket. If it is any comfort, know that they are compromising on your behalf, too. And the upshot? You may discover that you like sports, his family, her favorite cafe, camping, or whatever you’re being asked to try, stretching and reaching more than you ever thought that you could. Growth is good. Growth in the direction of a beloved significant other is fantastic.
Fun and Delight
In the daily running of everyday life, one of the first things that can be jettisoned is fun. Get fun and joy back into your lives to help you keep your relationship on track. From little things like remembering a joke to share later, making waffles together, or getting dressed to go dancing when you would rather flop on the coach, fun is like the cement between bricks: it keeps a good structure upright and enables it to face the elements.
Never underestimate the importance of a good beverage, a warm hug, a ready smile to lift someone’s spirits and keep the relationship healthy and strong, because we are all needing to be loved and comforted. When a relationship is on the ropes these small acts of comfort and care may be withheld; that’s natural when someone has let you down or hurt you. Yet to keep a relationship strong and healthy, be the bigger person and reach out because that is a course of action that is within your personal sphere of influence and you may just be happily surprised to see your partner or friend respond in kind.